be loved, beloved.

my small group discussed several characteristics of God this week, one of which was love. as i was looking at scriptures relating to God being love John 3:16 eventually came to mind (hard to believe it wasn’t the first one that popped in my head).

“for God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

i think somewhere in my cool teenage years i decided this verse was the one anyone who called themselves a Christian but didn’t really know the Bible claimed as their fave. so obviously, being the mature, educated believer i am, i decided i would focus on lesser known scriptures as my faves. (i’m sure this wasn’t a real thought process i had…more subconscious) anyway, i had forgotten the power of this verse until i read it again this week.

“for God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

we started to talk about how much God loves us. have you ever just let that reality wash over you? you are loved. in the most awesome way, that Christ would lay down his life to save you. Jesus loves you.

so just be loved, be loved, he loves you.
just be loved, be loved, he loves you, he loves you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFqTI5bwoiA

happy birthday

to the man who introduced me to Journey, Kansas, Styx, and REO Speedwagon
to the man who showed me how to cheer for the Wildcats
to the man who gives advice, even when it is unwanted
to the man who demonstrates how a man should love his wife
to the man who cheered me on from the stands
to the man who offers hugs and a listening ear whenever they’re needed

happy birthday to the man who i call my daddy.

i love you, daddy-o!

better late than never

i’m sure Mama and Daddy haven’t forgotten, but i can hardly remember all the fights, the careless words, the teasing. we were sisters, 3 years apart, wasn’t this our job description? she liked barbies and baby dolls, i didn’t. she was feisty and pushed the envelope a bit, i preferred to follow the rules. she had guinea pigs, i had birds. we were different, very different.

21 years (and a few months, because this is late) to grow as sisters and individuals. we have much more important things to discuss than barbies and baby dolls. she’s beautiful. i mean really, really beautiful–inside and out. she may be younger but she challenges me, stretches me, questions me, loves me, and blesses me. i can see how the Lord has changed and transformed her heart’s desires to be more like his. i can see how the Lord is writing her story to bring himself glory. i love watching her faithfully walk where He leads her, defining herself by what He says about her, standing firm on Truth.

she’s my middle sissy, and i love her.

what if this went public?

what if people really knew my story? what if they knew my junk? shortcomings? failures? struggles? hurts, habits, hang-ups? what if they knew that?

then what would they think of me? how would people respond? would they treat me differently–look at me with compassion and grace as Jesus has or need to pick their jaw up off the floor? would they even still love me?

lies.

oh, why do i wrestle with these questions? why do i need them to think i have it all together? why is confession so daunting? why do i even have to struggle with anything? Lord, you can take me home to perfection now.

my grace is sufficient for you.

yes, Lord your grace is sufficient. thank you for grace. thank you for loving me. but, people can be so scary sometimes. wouldn’t life be easier if we could just manhandle our own sin? or if you could just keep me from struggling? please and thank you…

confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

yes, yes, i know this. i mean really, i have seen this in my own life. there is healing, real healing, in confession. you’re right. okay. community, confession, and accountability it is. thank you for putting me in situations that bring you glory and me good.

worth your time

Click here and read some clearly articulated Truth about what God says in regard to current “hot” topics.

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victory

life is good. because God is good. the last couple weeks have made me so grateful for a Savior who loves me where i am but refuses to leave me there. he is changing my heart, for my good and his glory. remember this? at the time i wrote that i was dragging my feet about making a plan. then on saturday i read this:

“live as free of complications as possible [so] you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master.”
1 Corinthians 7:32 MSG

after making a list of “complications” in my life i decided it was time to officially sign off. i can’t really say i have missed it much–except that i can’t sign in to spotify, lame. even more than not missing it, it dawned on me when driving to work Monday that the Lord had given me a small victory in that area. it was time to act and all i needed was that reminder in 1 Corinthians.

the best part? once the Lord has given one small victory in one small area, i really believe it makes me want more small victories. on tuesday, when i was frustrated and annoyed, i went to bed tempted to wallow in my need for man’s approval. i put my head on that pillow and felt convicted to pray for Truth in the midst of lies from the enemy about where my worth and appreciation truly come.

i see so clearly the way the Lord is making me more like Christ in the last couple of weeks and my heart gets excited for what is to come. i don’t want to move out of this place–unless it means deeper change for my good and his glory.

firsts

on Wednesday:
first use of the Rachel Ray knives
first major medical decision made
first trip to urgent care
first “digital block”
first set of stitches
first “surgical” bill paid

it was an eventful evening to say the least. i was cutting some cheese (yes, literally cutting cheese) and sliced right into my left pointer finger. i think the knife got confused about what to cut, but some people are telling me i was being silly to try and use a knife at a horizontal angle…whatever.

after 3 bloody paper towels (TMI?) and 50 minutes of pressure with no sign of slowing blood flow i finally decided i should have my roommate and friend take me to urgent care. sure enough, i needed stitches. two of them to be exact.

after i was bandaged we ate delicious subs from Jersey Mike’s for din din and i get to go back in 10 days to have them removed. pictures you ask? sure thing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the miracle finger soak that immediately stopped the bleeding. seriously, miracle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

my ploy for love and attention.

 

 

 

 

 

 
after the digital block. the doc injected a bunch of fluid at the base of my finger that made it numb in 15 minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
the final product. two little blue stitches and a NUMB finger.

you don’t know

i was watching this TV show yesterday on hulu plus. it’s a lame wanna-be friends, but at the end of the pilot episode there was a dialogue that was pretty profound…

(main characters Charlotte Payne, who has a British accent, and Wayne Rutherford, who does not have a British accent, were talking. Charlotte had recently been proposed to by a man she’d dated for 3 months and she turned him down only to begin wondering if she’d ever find Mr. Right.)

Wayne: There’s a guy out there for you. He’s gonna turn up and he’s gonna ask you to marry him. It won’t be because of your accent or because you’re wicked in the sack [it was part of the dialogue, not something i recommend]. There’s only one reason he’ll want you to be his wife.
Charlotte: What?
Wayne: You don’t know?
Charlotte: shakes her head “no”
Wayne: It’s cause you’re Charlotte Payne.

does that dialogue not strike a chord with every single woman’s heart at some point? really though, i am in a beautiful place of contentment in my singleness right now and i still recognized that i have felt that way before and surely will again. these show writers knew their target audience…

insecurity runs rampant in our culture. it drives thoughts, actions, and behaviors more than we’d like to admit. sometimes it is hard to believe that someone might love us just because we’re us. oh what a lie! we have been created by a God whoknows us and loves us in spite of us. we have a Savior Jesus who laid down his life that we might know true love.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus to do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

so, you don’t know? you’re loved because you’re Y-O-U!

 

signing off

it was the night KU made it to the final four. i was super annoyed by all the facebook statuses–but this isn’t a post about that. it frustrated me that i let facebook take so much of my time and it gets me worked up over silly things like KU being in the final four. so i forced my rooms to change my password so i could not sign on until Easter. it was so good for me to be off facebook for that amount of time. as of Easter i am back on FB but i am processing through how to limit it’s impact on my life. i think it will be one of two ways: 1. accountability that only allows me on FB once a week for 30-45 minutes. 2. completely shutting down my FB.

sounds extreme, right? i used to get annoyed when people did “facebook fasts” but it astounded me how much of an impact it truly has on my life. when i wasn’t on it, i still typed www.face–at least once a day in my browser. after i got back on it took less than 24-hours for me to realize that it fosters a discontentment in me.

driving to work Easter Monday i was praying against these feelings of discontent rising in me. i couldn’t put my finger on it, but i knew that the previous weeks had been good. i wasn’t thinking about all the things i would rather be doing or who’s life might be more fulfilling than mine. but Easter Monday i started to mull over these things again. it finally dawned on me that facebook was allowing me access to information that gets the wheels-a-turnin’, if you know what i mean.

so this discontentment isn’t something i am willing to live with for the sake of convenience or whatever we would call facebook. it’s not worth me wrestling feelings that i can just get rid this easily, you know? so, i am figuring out what signing off looks like for me and finding accountability in that. you should do the same…come on, just try it.

 

with a gee-tar on my knee…

usually the song says banjo, but i ain’t learnin’ the banjo.

i am learning to play the guitar. thanks to daddy-o’s old guitar and my room’s stellar skills.

get excited for concerts around the campfire!

maybe i can find some of the old song lyrics i wrote as a middle schooler–those could be fun!